i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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