random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
