highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
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