let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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