Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
