omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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