I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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