im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
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I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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