i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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