He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
