U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
