That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
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The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
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