My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize