p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
