We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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