I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
