Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
