Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Randomize
