did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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