wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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