i'm lost and i look like a hooker
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
