D3 body, D1 cock
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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