is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I just blew my weed a kiss
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
