Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
you had me at cake vodka
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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