just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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