I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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