I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to sanitize my soul.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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