Please, let me fuck your mom
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
