He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Someone shattered a urinal.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
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