if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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