You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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