I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
he told me I talked like a deaf person
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
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