she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
