dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
