I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
