I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Randomize