Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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