they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
