if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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