dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
