i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
