I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Randomize
