I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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