When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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