What a fucking waste of an outfit
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
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At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
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