are you still at the devil's house?
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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