11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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