i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Randomize
