Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
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