You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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