you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
