I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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