you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Randomize
