How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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