he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
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