The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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