Only a mothe r could love this liver
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
