What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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